YOU ARE TEARING ME APART {lisa}

[Johnny]

Johnny was coming home from the bank. He reached his apartment soon and opened the door. Johnny walked into the room and looked around at all the things that were in there that were randomly not destroyed by his awkward rampage. "ha ha ha that's what happens!" He said cheerily as he sat down on his chair.

He was expecting Lisa to arrive at any minute. She was his future wife, after all. They were supposed to be together all the time. Johnny chuckled and tossed his football through the air, catching it as he fell. He had bought Lisa a present - a dozen red roses. He was the rose seller's favorite customer. That's him!

Johnny stared at the door for only a moment. Surely Lisa was coming soon, maybe with Mark or Denny. Johnny chuckled again, this time pulled a dozen red roses out of his tuxedo's jacket as he did so. This was perfect present for Lisa, who was his future wife. She would look so sexy in the red dress.

[Lisa]

Johnny had shot himself and died, and suddenly he was alive again. But Lisa wasn't worried about it. What she was worried about was their upcoming wedding - the very thought of it made her want to tear something apart. She knew that Johnny loved her very much, and that she made him happy, but she didn't really care. All she cared about was her own happiness. And marrying this man wouldn't make her happy...he was so boring. She wasn't sure what it was about him that was so boring, she just knew that he was.

The problem was, her bitch of a mother was kind of right. Johnny supported her financially, and she couldn't support herself. The computer business was very competitive. ...Maybe she could marry Johnny, and then divorce him, and then take all of his money in the divorce. Yeah. The more Lisa thought about it, the better a plan that seemed. After all, Johnny would be fine. He worked for a bank; he could always just rob the place if he ever needed more money. That's the idea! she thought with a smirk. Her plan put her in a considerably better mood as she headed up to Johnny's apartment.

She walked in the door and hung her coat up, suddenly aware that all of this thinking was making her hungry. Thinking probably burnt up a lot of calories. Maybe she could skip going to the gym this week and hang out with Mark instead. It was a good thing she had spontaneously decided to order a pizza on her way over here. Hopefully Johnny wouldn't mind. Actually, she didn't really care whether he minded or not, but she'd pretend like she did by asking him anyway. "Hey Johnny, do you want to order a pizza?" she called, turning around...only to find him sitting right nearby. Lisa blinked, her gaze falling to the roses Johnny held.

"What are those?" she asked, despite the fact that it was obvious.

[Johnny]

Johnny loved Lisa so much. She was his future wife and he loved her. He was so glad to have Mark as his best friend and he loved Lisa so much. But he didn't know where Mark was. This made Johnny not so glad but he was glad that his future wife was there now. Lisa walked into the apartment and hung up her coat. Johnny smiled and chuckled. "Hi babe! Ha ha ha, well hyou know what dey sey... Lahve is blind!" He said, despite the fact that there was honestly no reason to say anything like that.

As Lisa asked the question, Johnny's face became.. confused. It was something of a tough question - Lisa always played psychologist with him he had no idea what to do. This was a deep, pressing question and one that needed to be answered fast. As time slowly ticked by, a bead of sweat fell down Johnny's face. What would he say? Did he really want to order a pizza? Yes... no! Was he really in the mood for pizza? More importantly - was there enough time for pizza? Mark was expecting him to throw the football with him at five.

"Sure, whatever ha ha ha." Johnny replied casually. "O rihte, I haf somefing fohr hyou!" He stood up and handed the roses to Lisa. "I bought dese red roses forh hyou becuz hyou ahr mah future wyfe." Johnny sat back down, suddenly becoming disinterested in the entire situation. "You knohw if everbawdy luved each othehr, da wurld ould be a bettur place..."

[Lisa]

Lisa fixed Johnny with an unamused stare in response to his random preaching. Not that Johnny being random was anything new. But she suddenly felt the need to be condescending and disapproving. "You shouldn't say things like that, Johnny. Some people are actually blind." she told him as if this were a little known fact. Blindness was a growing problem in America, the same way crime was. Lisa remembered her horror when that ruffian, Chris R, had attacked Denny. If only Denny hadn't been dabbling in drugs. What kind of drugs? Lisa wondered for the umpteenth time.

Anyway, there was more important stuff to think about. Like pizza. Almost as soon as Johnny (finally) responded, Lisa promptly informed him, "I already ordered a pizza." Hopefully it would be here soon. She was getting bored. Even the roses Johnny pushed into her hands didn't do much to cheer her up. She stared at them for a moment, then looked back up at Johnny and forced a smile. "Thanks Johnny. They're beautiful." She headed over to a random vase that was there for no particular reason, and put the flowers in it. Meh. They looked okay. They would have looked better in Mark's house.

She barely even listened to what Johnny was talking about as she stood with her back to them, an expression of disdain on her face. "Johnny....." she sighed, turning back to him and looking resigned. "We need to talk. My mom doesn't like you anymore. She thinks you're hitting me." Despite the fact that this came out of nowhere, and that she'd been the one to start that accusation in the first place, and that this plot point had already happened, Lisa acted like everything was completely normal.

[Johnny]

"Ha ha ha, what a story Lisa!" Johnny said. He was completely honest, too - he really did think it was a fun story to listen to despite the fact that it was neither fun to listen to or a story. Johnny just felt that way about those words. It certainly was a story. "Wow, Lisa, hyou luk so sexy." Johnny said, completely out of the blue. "Hyou are even weahring de red dress i bought you ha ha ha" This was said even though Lisa was not wearing the red dress Johnny got her.

"Wow, Lisa, hyou think of evrythan" Johnny said, astonished at Lisa already having ordered a pizza. She made the most difficult decision of his life for him and she knew just what he wanted. That was why she was his future wife - she knew everything about him. She even knew how he would react in the most difficult situations he would ever encounter, like whether or not he wanted to order a pizza. Johnny chuckled obnoxiously.

WAIT, WHAT. Someone said that he hit Lisa!? "HOW DEHR HYOU TALK TO MEH LIEK DAT?!" Johnny shouted, standing up and, with sheer brute strength, flipping the chair he was sitting on. "WHY LISA WHY WHY WHY!?" He shouted, punching clean through the TV. Suddenly, Johnny calmly turned to Lisa. "So anyway, how's your sex life?"

[Lisa]

"Yeah, you can say that again." Lisa said seriously in response. Her random ranting about blind people was quite a story indeed, one everyone needed to hear. She was glad that Johnny understood that. Although she wasn't really sure why he was telling her she looked sexy - she always looked sexy, duh. That was just a fact of life. She shrugged in reply to the red dress comment. "I'm gonna go go try it on." she told him. That...really made no sense in response to what Johnny had just said - not that what Johnny had just said made any sense in the first place - but Lisa didn't really seem to notice. And she didn't leave to try the dress on, either. In fact, she seemed to have forgotten she'd even made that statement within the next couple of seconds.

Lisa really had thought of everything. She'd ordered thin crust, with everything on it except for pepperoni and sausage and bacon and chicken and olives and peppers and anchovies and mushrooms and cheese. Everything on it except for those. She was pulled out of her thoughts when Johnny started yelling about something, and she looked up in annoyance. He'd just punched the TV! God, he was so boring! And now she was going to miss her favorite shows, Doctor Why and Once Upon a Moment. It really pissed her off. "Why are you SO HYSTERICAL?!" she shouted, turning to him angrily. Before she knew it, though, Johnny's mood had changed again.

She decided to just take it in stride. At least he wasn't asking her personal questions, or anything. But...how was she supposed to tell him about her sex life? Should she tell him the truth about her affair with Mark? No. It had to be kept a secret, despite the fact that she'd blatantly revealed this affair before. Lisa needed to come up with something - something convincing, something good - to tell Johnny. And fast. "...........I can't tell you. It's confidential." she finally said, hoping that she was being extremely mysterious.