BURRITOS, FOR GREAT JUSTICE! (Open)

[ember]

BOH-REE-TOH!!

ZWOOSH!

Thats appearantly the sound something BLOODY BIG makes when it is hunting the ELUSIVE BURRITO MERCHANT. New York was proving to be an awesome town - there were plenty of new things to do, all kinds of merchants selling questionable things on trays, but among the RABBLE there was one whose sweet, sweet BURRITO STINK outranked them all - the elusive... the mighty... the all-powerful...

GOLDEN LUCK BURRITO.

It was run by a young Chinese man, probably twenty something, as inherited from his father (who instead sold eggrolls.) So great was this kid's mastery of the mystic arts that his burritos, as rarest of gems, were beautiful just to look at, toasted to perfection each one. But he was a slippery bugger in an orange robe and sandals... and he seemed to be able to dematerialize into thin air the moment she wasn't looking! She'd ordered one off him once... and when she'd HUNTED HIS ASS DOWN he'd taken fright and run away! What kind of response was that, anyhow? SHE WANTED TO GIVE HIM HER MONIES, OH DIDNT SHE JUST!

So that was why there was a dragon flying around between the skyscrapers, chasing a man booking it like mad through whatever alleyway and underpass he could!

"GWARR!" she cried, then made a little keening noise as he ducked again into an alleyway, his tray making little MEEKIEMEEKIEMEEKIE noises as it dopplared away. But he could never escape her... oh no, he'd taken her money! She could smell him and that... HEAVENLY BURRITO STENCH, and see the trail of tantalizing truth! Oh his burritos would be hers... Oh yes... they would be hers.

[thetick]

"The day is as warm as it is blue. Blue like the ocean that stretches out to the horizon, with limitless possibilities for adventure. And its clouds, like icebergs or pirate ships, also possibilities for adventure. Of course, with pirate ships comes plunder and booty; nothing but ocean thieves with peg legs and talking parrots that steal for personal gain. People often forget that they're just plain bad! And just like pirates, evil does not need the cover of night to do its nefarious deeds, and neither does The Tick!"

Blissfully unaware of the implications of what he just said, he continued his stroll down the sidewalk of the city. The hustle and bustle of city-life moved around him, letting him know that things were well within normal parameters. That is, until he felt an all-to-familiar groan coming from his belly. The Tick looked down in sympathy and patted it. "Patience, my friend. Your sustenance will come after a good day's work. Justice is its own nourishment, although I wouldn't mind going for a--"

BOH-REE-TOH!!

The Tick looked momentarily puzzled, then nodded in agreement with the sound he thought came from himself. "Indeed, a burrito does sound pretty good right now. Good thinking, stomach." Looking up to scan the street, perhaps finding a vendor of some kind that would sell such a food item. Although he carried no money, he was sure they would thank him for all the good he's done by giving him the meekest of samples. And, just to his luck, there was a burrito cart coming down the sidewalk already. It had taken a sharp corner and was rolling down the street at an incredibly fast speed. Apparently this burrito man had sensed his need and was coming to facilitate it, but he was too far away to make out any facial details. "Hello, fair citizen! Thank you for coming at this short notice! I would like-- hey!" The Tick started before the man ducked into an alleyway.

While this would have seemed like a very weird business strategy, it became readily apparent that the large shadow following him (which The Tick had just noticed) belonged to a large, flying lizard of some kind. And it looked hungry and aggressive. Immediately, he knew he needed to spring into action. "Flying creature! You'll not dine on human-flesh tonight!" The Tick shouted loudly while pointing directly at it. He immediately followed up by going into a crouch and springing upward and forward, aiming directly at the neck of the dragon so he could grab on and wrestle it to the ground.

[ember]

Ember had just enough time to pull her long neck out of the alleyway to look with wide eyes at the Tick, but by then it was too late! Her vision was filled with MIGHTY BLUE ABS and down she went, like a sack of potatoes, gripped by the neck by a man about a quarter of her size! Momentarily stunned and completely nonplussed, she made an inquisitive, nonverbal noise and tried... really... hard to get a look at... this little.... GAH! She squirmed in his grasp, even instinct taking a backseat and staring, dumbfounded! THIS had never happened before!

Unable to see her attacker, she looked down the alleyway in time to see the trailing of an orange robe and a distant Meekiemeekiemeekie noise. Ohh noooooo her burritos! Her sweet, juicy joys! As if remembering she vastly outranked the tick in size AND mass, she rose (him with her) and bounded down the street, taking wing before oncoming traffic could even leave the stoplight!

The red and orange dragoness tried to focus, giving a hefty beat of her wings! Somehow, her money pouch had stayed on her fangs through all this MADNESS, so hope was not yet lost!

[cheryl]

Technically, no Marine is truly off the clock. However, for the now Master Sergeant Cheryl McAllister, her shift was over. Now she was free, or as free as a uniformed Marine could be.

The more things changed, the more they stayed the same. Cheryl was different from the spunky, smartassed, mischievous little goblin girl she used to be. She acted all prim and proper and disciplined now, especially since she was a senior NCO in the USMC. But oh how she sometimes just died to bust out, oh how she suppressed her urges to be random and goofy.

But she had lower ranking Marines looking up to her as a leader, and superiors to impress. No, she wasn't that different at all from how she used to be. She was just more honed, more disciplined. More lethal and efficient.

That's why she didn't try to pull a Marylin Monroe with a steam grate.

She was wearing a skirt, after all, with black slippers. The rest of her uniform was typical of the USMC alpha uniform; brown blouse with a dark green skirt, a dark green coat that bore her rank insignia, name tag, badge and various medals, and a dark green cap on her head -which looked awkward with her fluffy mohawk. Actually, a goblin in a Marine Corps uniform looked awkward to begin with; what with her short, petite stature of only 5'0", huge, elongated ears, ghostly pale skin and strange, dark eyes. Otherwise, she could just pass for a small, human girl.

But oh how she wanted to be even more awkward sometimes, oh who she wanted to act out. And oh how she could land herself in huge trouble for acting out, especially in public, by trying to imitate Monroe's dress stunt, especially in uniform. But oh how she was dying to... Her need to act out and be random, much suppressed over the time spent as a Marine, was superseded right now by an even greater need.

She hadn't eaten all day. She needed to snack, and hard. And it was Friday, too special a day to spend eating that shit back at the base. No, she ventured out into the city itself, too hungry and eager to change into civilian clothes. Besides, a lot of vendors would give her discounts in her uniform.

Cheryl eagerly licked her lips, thinking about how she would pig out. But what to start with? Choices, choices.

BOH-REE-TOH!!

That was a good idea! Regardless of the distance and background noise, her keen hearing was quick to pick up on that. She assumed it was nothing more than an advertisement from some burrito merchant or Mexican restaurant or something. With that in mind, she hustled forth, careful not to knock down anyone. And what a crowd it was...but they were running away from the Mexican restaurant....

No, it wasn't a Mexican restaurant. It was some....blue man riding a dragon? And there! In front of them! A man with a burrito cart running away!

Maybe she had a momentary lapse of sanity. Maybe it was from the hunger or the excitement. Or maybe it was just her trying to act out and be ridiculous, even dangerously, lulzy. As everyone scurried away, leaving only her behind, she reached into her pocket and fished out a fistfull of dollars. She waved them frantically, apparently with the intention of flagging down the running man with the burrito cart headed toward her. All the while, she had a big dumb grin on her face.

[thetick]

“Run, enterprising citizen! I’ll take care of this flying crocodile!” The Tick shouted while being flailed around on the dragon’s neck. The distraction he was doing proved to be effective, as the dragon had halted its pursuit and was concentrating on flinging him off. All his previous thoughts of hunger and getting a delicious burrito were completely dismissed, all that mattered was this moment. Right now, she was just where he wanted her!

“It’s just you and me! Now you can try picking on someone your own size! WOAH!” The Tick shouted, surprised at how the dragon had completely gone airborne and out onto the street. That being said, it wasn’t entirely unexpected, seeing as she had wings and was several times larger than him. He tightened his grip instinctively, but his resolve stayed the same. “Trying to escape, eh? Not when you face The Ti—“
[KER-THUNK!]
The Tick was momentarily stunned after the dragon swooped low over a traffic light while he hung off her neck, getting The Tick straight in the top of his head as they flew past. His antennae twitched a couple of times. “Oh oh oh, now there’s three of you, eh? Not on my watch!” The Tick said groggily as his vision blurred, quickly shaking his head a couple of times to get his marbles back in place. They didn't quite get back in place.

Using his hands and feet to start climbing up the side of the dragon’s neck while keeping his grip, eventually getting onto the back of her neck and holding on tight. More maneuverability, less chance of hitting the lip of a building, and a much better view. The burrito man from that view, all three of them, appeared to be running in the direction of three military women who were flagging them down.
"Yes, go to safety, burrito men! The Tick will take care of this trifecta of winged lizards!" The Tick yelled down at the burrito vendor(s) again, turning his attention back to the dragon.

[ember]

As the Tick took the 'saddle' Ember again regained her bearings after being manhandled, and forgot about her rider briefly and focused on her quarry! Mr. Sho was running like there was no tomorrow, peeling out and skipping one two wheels as he achieved the kind of escape normally associated with corvettes that sported pink fuzzy hanging dice on the rear view mirror!

Buuuut she saw what he did there, winging over the corner and acclerating through with a beat of her wings! She could nearly taste that heavenly burrito stock now, and it was GLORIOUS. The street by now was nearly abandoned, but only one person stood in the way of the elusive MISTER SHO'S GOLDEN LUCK BURRITO - a marine, waving money at him! Ember began a nosedive on the poor burrito merchant, who wailed and picked up pace! What happened next would take a skilled CG Department and stop motion animators several months to do. Mr. So blasted past the marine, taking her money and giving her a burrito in the same motion without at all changing his pace, blitzing past with a

"THANKYOUVERYMUCHFORYOURBUSINESSPLEASECOMEAGAAAAAAIN!"

Just before Ember landed just where he'd been, claws outstretched to snatch - endng up with a fistful of marine! Irritated, Ember released her and took off again in the same motion, somehow ending up with Cheryl, completely unharmed and holding a burrito, to sit on her back right in front of the tick!

[cheryl]

Even if Cheryl had temporarily gone insane, on some level she must've realized the absurdity of her actions. After all, it was crazy for her to think the burrito vendor would take her money and then hand her a burrito mid-chase. So she was briefly dumbfounded when that's exactly what happened.

One advantage of being a goblin, or any faye for that matter, is superhuman speed and agility. Indeed, Cheryl's sense of equilibrium could put Spider-Man to shame. And this was something innate in all faye. Of course, superhuman reaction times and balance are nothing if they aren't exercised; say in the case of Master Sergeant McAllister right now, who stood dumbfounded, staring at the Mexican treat in her hands.

With her surprise at actually having gotten her food item causing her to pause in shock, it was no surprise at all that the dragon was able to catch her and hoist her unto her back. "Double you tee eff!" she shouted, her green and black eyes wide with shock. With one hand, she clung onto the dragon for dear life. With her other hand, she clung to the burrito, and out of sheer reflex brought it to her mouth and took a bite.

"Hi, Mister Man! You want a bite?!" She shouted at the blue stranger behind her, her giddiness and random mentality getting the better of her Marine Corps discipline.

[thetick]

Seeing as how all the triplicates wore the same clothes and moved in perfect unison with each other, this gave rise to the suspicion that they were all the same people (and the same dragon.) Another quick shake of his head and The Tick’s vision cleared, just in time to find the dragon swooping straight down at the burrito vendor at the last second. At this point, hitting it straight down would only send it crashing to the ground and flattening the poor man, and his reflexes weren’t nearly that good.

Strangely, it appeared to have missed in that pass and managed to capture the military woman instead. Even stranger, the dragon threw the poor woman onto its back as it came back around for another pass. Perhaps the strangest of all, the woman had a burrito and was eating it while in mid-flight. “… Most peculiar.” The Tick mused to himself, furrowing his brows momentarily while wondering if his marbles were really all back in place. Hallucination or not, there was still the matter of the dragon to deal with, and he’ll just have to figure it out later.

“Not at this time. Name’s The Tick! Would you happen to know how to steer this giant, scaly bird?” The Tick asked as he introduced himself, not sounding distressed as he hurtled through the air on the back of a flying creature. During this time, he was scanning the back of the dragon for whatever he could to influence the dragon’s flight path. One hand was holding on tight to the dragon's back while the other was keeping the sun out of his eyes. "Another pass and our burrito-making friend might himself be the next meal!" He added.

[ember]

HOW THE HECK!

Ember had a brief human moment when she realized she now had TWO riders! This would be an awkward conversation later and no mistake... BURRITOS! She was gaining on Mr. Sho's GOLDEN LUCK BURRITO! The dragon took over again, and threw caution to the wind! The chase was on and her human self was way too hungry to do more than feebly protest the public display of draconic behavior (PDDB ALERT!).

How she had gotten away with it so far would be a mystery to the dragongirl later on when she had some quiet time to think about it, like when her father called her and asked what the hell, but for now? She laughed in the face of retribution! Well... sought burritos in the face of retribution... but HEY! It wasnt like she was going to steal his food and eat him or anything, and miraculously, the only damage that had been done so far as a result was a small little gouge in the street and a dented traffic light from the Tick's noggin.

Speaking of which, she looked back at the Tick and Cheryl over her shoulder and gave a long, slow blink before snorting in a little puff of smoke, her soft crimson mane flapping in the cool april air. Passengers! Arg! A part of her wanted to shake them off, to perhaps maul them a little for being SO PRESUMPTUOUS AS TO RIDE A DRAGON but... but...

GWAAAARR! THAT WOULD BE MEAN!

The GOLDEN LUCK was nearing a dead end alley! All she had to do was corner him, right?! WELL! Breathing in, she almost flamed in front of him, but that would be... again, kinda mean as hell, and what if he couldnt stop in time? Instead, she let the flames burn to smoke in her mouth, and puffed them down, in a wall in front of him. It was sparky, hot, and nonlethal - but certainly visually intimidating! It had the desired effect, ducking Mr. Sho into the alleyway - score! She landed inside it, only barely able to fit in, bounding and landing in the process. She stalked up in that narrow corridor, just as Mr. Sho realized he'd made a booboo.

She moved in close, irritated from the hindrances so far... and...! sort of grinned at him, her tail flicking playfully behind her, thumping a little on the pavement behind her like a playful cat or big-ass dog. The man had been terrified... right up until that point, when his INCONGRUITY BRAIN CENTER PLACE caught up with events. Unhooking the bag of coins in her jaws with her tongue, Ember happily set them down and rolled them in Mr. Sho's direction with her nose.

The man blinked, totally nonplussed. Ember made a happy little barking type of sound and licked her chops a little as he, still watching her, opened the bag and went bug-eyed. Suddenly, he understood.

"OHHHHHHHHH! ISEE ISEE YOU WANT MANY BURRITO!" He said in a heavy accent, and was suddenly all smiles. He'd heard from his old man that all types would come to him with business, but... but... this was bloody mad. Welcome to New York - you make burrito for dragon now.

Business sense edged aside common sense a moment, and he carefully pulled out coins - big, fat silver dollars by the look of it! He looked up at Ember again. Something about the red dragon just... screamed... girl? He did some mental arythmatic and looked sadface. He somehow got the feeling shortchanging her would be a career threatening move.

"ooohhhhhhhh missa dragon... Don have enuff burrito... too much money!" It would be sad to see that much money go - he'd already fallen in love with the big sack of coins, which he estimated to be worth like... a hundred and fifty bucks. At least.

The dragon raised a claw in an "OH! Idea!" sort of motion and scribbled on the wall a bit!

It was a crude drawing of a happy dragonface with a pile of burritos, a happy looking burritomeister with a big fat sack, and below, in big bold letters (Accented with a heart?!) were three letters - I O U.

It took Mr. Sho only a second, but... but that meant he could keep the money! All he'd have to do is feed her when he saw her! Maybe there'd be more money in the future!

"Ooohhhh! Yes yes! This works! Lessee... what Mr. Sho... has in the box!" He said, investigating his wares before looking up. "Baggie?" he asked. She nodded and let her tongue droop out with excitement in a kind of bubbly expression. He smiled! And ended up filling a big ol' plastic bag full of burritos while she watched intently.

Just as he was about to hand her the bag, though... Ember glanced back at the tick and snorted before looking back to Mr. Sho. She held up one claw and motioned with her chin, and Mr. Sho blinked.

"And one for friend! Okay!" he said, pulling one from the bag and placing it into the dragongirl's palm.

Perhaps it was a sort of peace offering to the Tick, perhaps it was just because she wasn't a villain, but... golden burrito based joy awaited him IN THE FACE.

[cheryl]

Oh, how wonderful it was. To be briefly free of the strict code and discipline. Even though she liked being a Marine, liked the strictness and sternness that came with it, but was so refreshing to be free. And best of all, had anyone observed her, they would've assumed she was trying to wrestle down the dragon and stop it. Which she kind of was.... Kind of.... And hey, it might even be good enough to warrant another promotion!

Master Sergeant Cheryl McAllister instantly thought back to an old black and white movie. She wasn't sure of the exact title, but she remembered a Dr. Strangelove. Yes, Strangelove and the man in the cowboy outfit riding a nuclear bomb as it was being dropped...

Being a quick eater, Cheryl downed the burrito pretty quick. That's probably why the dragon only huffed at her when it looked back. After all, had she still been holding the burrito, the treasure the dragon sought, the dragon no doubt would've reacted differently. And what a treasure it was! Although it was different. Cheryl couldn't put her finger on it, but it was a bit...Asian-y....

Cheryl briefly looked back at the blue man behind her and yelled, "Ever seen Dr. Strangelove?!" her voice barely audible over the commotion. Turning back around, she reached up with her free hand and grabbed her cap, while continuing to cling to the dragon with her other hand. "Waaaaaaaa-hoooooo! I dunno who my cap managed to stay on, but yee-haw!" She started yelling over and over again, digging her heels into the dragon's sides and waving her cap around in the air, just like Major Kong in Dr. Strangelove in the infamous nuke scene.

Then reality set in. First, Cheryl had to stop this monster before it hurt someone. Secondly, she was wearing a skirt and it had blown up from the turbulence at such high speeds. She blushed, wide-eyed, and put her cap back on.

"I'll kill it!"

Grabbing on to the dragon's back with both hands now, she tried to climb up it's neck to reach it's head, where she could hopefully do some serious damage. She had to halt though, and cling for dear life, when the dragon suddenly made a sharp turn. She continued to climb, enraged that her skirt had flown up, as the dragon and the man with the burrito cart exchanged words.

The dragon seemed oblivious to her, or maybe didn't consider her a threat. Regardless, Cheryl reached her target finally. She clasped both hands together and reared back, preparing to deliver a double axe-handle blow to a sensitive region -like an eye- when she suddenly lost balance.

The movements the dragon made to write the I O U caused Cheryl to tumble forward, landing on her feet on front of the dragon.

"Gah!"

[thetick]

Seeing the military woman call out what a military person usually does in this situation just before she went to climb the neck of the beast, The Tick set himself to work on other fronts. Entirely oblivious and unperturbed by the woman’s clothing malfunction, he looked at the flapping of the wings to see how he could interrupt their flapping and gliding. Obviously it needed wings to keep afloat, so it was just a matter of grabbing onto it and using the awesome power of gravity to pull everything to the ground.

By the time he was in position to make the jump to the dragon’s wing, it had already landed itself and crawled into a thin alleyway. At the end of it stood the burrito man, boxed in by the advances of the dragon. Time was running out for the burrito man, and his first reaction was to simply throw himself in front of the dragon and stop its advances manually. However, the military woman appeared to be close to the head of the dragon already and could help on that front. So, in light of that, The Tick quickly thought up an alternative plan: if he couldn’t stop the dragon from the front, he could stop it from behind! The dragon’s tail was swaying there, obviously swaying excitedly at the prospect of eating people alive. Most importantly, it was scaly and easily grab-able.

Without giving it another moment of thought, The Tick shimmied down the back of the dragon so he could rest on the part where the tail connects to the torso. After completely dropping down from the dragon, but with his arms still around the tail, he dug his feet into the ground and gripped hard in an attempt to force the dragon to stop moving. “Alright, you flying crocodile, you’ll regret getting a taste for the other-other white meat!” The Tick exclaimed, noticing that the dragon had already come to a stop and was looking back at him and snorted. That moment of apprehension caught him: he was holding onto the tail of a large carnivorous creature that may have altered its target from ‘small burrito man’ to ‘large Tick man’. Fighting crime was one thing, but being dino-chow was another.

It quickly diffused when it was then given a burrito in an outstretched dragon-palm. Now, on a normal day, this would seem quite out of the familiar. Had the dragon learned how to exchange currency for goods and services? Was it just mimicking what people did to get things? Was it a creature that had self-awareness? Or…

Did the burrito man charm the dragon into not eating him?

Seeing as how no-one was screaming in agony and bullets weren’t flying everywhere, this was the only reasonable answer. Laughing, The Tick let the dragon’s tail go and walked forward, patting it on the side as he did. Looking to the burrito man, he grinned broadly. “Well done, citizen! You should have gotten a job as a hostage negotiator or possibly lion tamer,” He said to the burrito man, giving him a good pat on the shoulder while keeping a wary eye on the dragon whose dragon-palm (carrying a burrito) seemed to follow him. “You’ll be destined for great things for sure, and no better place than a free society to do it in.” He added, completely unaware that he was being offered a burrito. In fact, it began to confirm his suspicions that the creature simply was mimicking human motions with regard to receiving goods and services.

Looking to the military woman, obviously not eaten, and also placed a firm grip on her shoulder too (pulling the burrito man with him as he did so.) "And your response was as quick as it was intense! If I may be so bold, what's the name of our lady in uniform so I can give my thanks?" The Tick asked, being polite and enthusiastic while also being unaware of having the two of them trapped in place with his grip.

[OOC Note: Sorry about the delay, wasn't sure if he was getting hit in the face with a burrito. Decided to go with this one.]

[ember]

Ember blinked. Then blinked again.

Then blinked some more.

Mentally, as she munched the burrito she'd tried to offer the Tick thoughtfully, she watched the Tick hug the marine who a few seconds ago would have happily tried to twist her head off and the beloved burrito merchant who was full of burritobased glorious joy... and changed. The burritos would satisfy her more as a hybrid - the dragon, with a somewhat unpleasant noise, began to shrink. Scales folded and shrank as her neck shortened, face flattening.

She steamed as she (there was no possible way she could be mistaken for a male, not to put too fine a point on it) took... a sort of humanoid shape - a young woman/ dragon hybrid, a shock of brilliantly, radioactively red hair flowing from her head to nearly touch the ground, her wings, significantly smaller, folding around her back like a cape. Thick scales did the work modesty demanded, and, like nothing at all happened, she continued to eat the burrito.

"Sweet bubbling buddha... I love these freakin' burritos... mmmph! Mmmmm!" she said, holding it in both hands and munching quite happily, the bag of further burrito-based joy for later dangling from her arm as she suddenly failed to take notice of the other three.