|
|
Post by Dave Strider on Dec 21, 2012 21:31:13 GMT -5
Dave Strider - Knight of Time, estranged Sburb player and all-round cool kid - had come to three conclusions about his new surroundings. One: the apartment he had somehow swindled himself into was a fuckton less cool than his old digs with all his sweet mixing gear gone. Two: compounding this problem was the absence of Lil' Cal, of which Dave had been painfully aware since he got here. Three: as if by way of consolation, there was no shortage of apple juice.
He stood by a window with a bottle of the divine liquid in his hand. John's Howie Mandel references be damned, this was some good AJ. Sipping pensively, he looked out upon the bustling scene beneath; his apartment, near the top of a high-rise, overlooked a main street near the heart of New York City. The noise was ceaseless - the city truly never slept. But the familiarity to his old home was at least a comfort to the errant Knight of Time.
In recent days while he had been getting his bearings, he'd stayed online on Pesterchum in hope of seeing any of his friends appear. To an extent, it had worked. Karkat and Terezi had appeared briefly, and though he had barely spoken to the latter before she vanished again, Karkat had stuck around long enough for Dave to learn that the troll was right here in the city.
Tracking him down beyond that, though, wouldn't be easy.
|
|
|
|
Post by Karkat Vantas on Dec 22, 2012 19:35:03 GMT -5
Karkat Vantas was thoroughly confused about Earth. He'd somehow managed to get a room at the conveniently-placed hotel that was apparently right nearby where he'd arrived. The people inside seemed somewhat frightened at his appearance and had just given him some strange card and told him to go to room 318. Of course, he'd made the grave mistake of captchaloguing the card he'd gotten - he ended up needing it to get inside his room.
So, after the long after the long ordeal that was getting a safe open {an ordeal that had made Karkat sufficiently angry}, he'd managed to get his card. Now he was in the room and right outside the door was an exceptionally heavy safe. Karkat was staring at the hideous monstrosity of cloth that was up against the wall. What could that even be for? Sure, you could sit on it but that didn't seem very... comfortable. Was this the "bed" that humans slept on? Karkat crossed his arms and scowled at the bed. He sat down at a nearby desk and opened up his laptop.
The only person online on Trollian was Dave. Ugh, why was it always humans online nowadays? Well, he might as well say something. They had met up only a little while before he'd found the hotel.
carcinoGeneticist has begun trolling turntechGodhead
|
|
|
|
Post by Dave Strider on Dec 22, 2012 19:50:50 GMT -5
Bee-beep. A Pesterchum notification. Dave had grown so used to the faint flashes of his iShades' heads-up display by now, the only reason he often noticed these at all was because he had trained himself to respond to them as a matter of urgency. What with, y'know, most of his recent Pesterchum conversations being on the subject of trying to save a universe.
He opened the client to see who was bugging him. It was Karkat. Sadly, his was the only online name, but it was a start. And if he'd been the one to send the first message, he might at least have something worthwhile to say.
TG: oh sup karkat
TG: ill probably immediately regret asking this but
TG: how you finding earth mister visitor from another universe
|
|
|
|
Post by Karkat Vantas on Dec 22, 2012 20:01:51 GMT -5
Karkat smashed a fist against the desk as he read Dave's replies. Was this really the time to be talking about what he thought about this stupid planet? They were just brought there by weird rifts they didn't even know anything about! The troll was already full of rage about the card ordeal, he didn't really need more stupid things getting in his way today. No, he wanted to talk about why he was thrown into another, more stupid dimension than the one he was just in. Karkat stared at the screen of his laptop and typed in a few more messages.
CG: OKAY REALLY YOU'RE ASKING ME ABOUT THAT?
CG: I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK?
CG: WE SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT THOSE FUCKING RIFTS NOT THAT.
That seemed right to say. After all, what use would talking about being on a dumb planet with dumb people and even dumber cloth-monstrosity things that you have to sleep on be? Karkat considered asking Dave about the hideous cloth behemoth that he believed he was supposed to sleep on. How was that ridiculous thing supposed to keep the horrible, violent nightmares that came with being a troll at bay? He didn't see anything that looked like it could do that on the bed. Plus, it looked horribly uncomfortable.
|
|
|
|
Post by Dave Strider on Dec 22, 2012 20:13:45 GMT -5
Straight to business, as expected. Karkat had never been one to waste time with small talk. It was equal parts useful and annoying, to be honest; useful when people needed to be kept on task, annoying at those times when Karkat clearly needed to chill the fuck out and stop panicking. Dave figured that a pertinent point to make.
TG: dude calm your shouty ass down
TG: im gonna go out on a limb and guess neither of us knows what the fuck just happened
TG: and neither of us has any way of finding out any time soon
TG: so we might as well chill out and get our bearings before we do anything else
He paused to take another sip of his juice. He'd been mumbling this seemingly to himself while stood at the window; the iShades inputted to Pesterchum by transcribing his speech. Did it pretty perfectly too.
TG: finding the others would be a pretty fuckin fantastic start
TG: has terezi spoken to you since we ended up here
TG: she popped online the other day but vanished before i could get much out of her
|
|
|
|
Post by Karkat Vantas on Dec 24, 2012 19:41:45 GMT -5
Why must all stupid humans be so obsessed with "chilling out" and "cooling down"? Karkat didn't even understand their obsession with cold-related metaphors for calming down! Why should he calm down anyway? He'd just been pulled into some fucking crazy world and Dave wanted him to just take it in stride and CALM DOWN? No, he was having none of that! Especially when the only thing in the hotel room for him to do besides use the "television" was read some bizarre, obnoxiously large tome called "Colonel Sassacre's Daunting Text of Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery" which sounded like the worst waste of time ever.
CG: WOW DID IT REALLY TAKE YOU THAT LONG TO FIGURE THAT OUT?
CG: I MEAN I KNOW YOU HUMANS ARE STUPID BUT
CG: I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WERE THAT FUCKING STUPID.
Karkat pounded angrily on his keyboard. There was rarely a moment when he was chatting with someone on Trollian and he didn't get angry at whoever he was chatting with. He was just a naturally angry person, there's no way around that.
CG: NO I HAVEN'T TALKED TO HER.
CG: I GUESS SHE JUST FUCKING DISAPPEARED.
CG: LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.
|
|
|
|
Post by Bro on Dec 24, 2012 19:57:00 GMT -5
So this was what it felt like to die and then be given the boot by death. Not that he could complain, of course. But seriously, what the fuck, death? You FINALLY manage to claim the coolest fucking dude you're ever gonna get your hands on short of weird time shit, and then you just toss him back out into the living world? AND into, APPARENTLY, the wrong fucking universe. There was rude, and then there was careless.
Seriously, what the FLYING fuck.
But shit. He was here now, so screw death. Preferably with a power drill and to the wall of a space shuttle or some shit. Set that mother on a crash course to the sun. Or something. Fuck, this analogy got derailed somewhere.
But hey, he had his phone. And his phone had pesterchum. And checking pesterchum, he could only be reminded of a certain little bro. Throwing caution to the wind, opened up a new chat.
temporaltrainer has begun pestering turntechGodhead
TT: So what the hell are you up to around this damn place?
TT: Don't tell me. Something no doubt not as awesome as it could be.
TT: Something probably pretty fuckin' lame.
TT: Are you drinking god damn apple juice?
Justifiably seedy and not at all a dead giveaway as to who he was. Plus he'd never even contacted Dave on pesterchum before. Little dude probably didn't even know his Bro HAD a chumhandle.
This was going to be fucking hilarious. |
|
|
|
Post by Dave Strider on Dec 24, 2012 20:27:26 GMT -5
Oh jegus fuck, has Karkat uttered a word in his life that wasn't screamed with the venom of a thousand irate goddamn vipers? Forget the plane, man, these things just sprouted wings and took the fuck off under the power of their whole-hearted hatred for seemingly everything... Bee-beep.
Wait a minute. This was a totally new chumhandle. Behind his glowing iShades, Dave's eyes narrowed very slightly. Certainly wasn't any troll he knew of, and this orange asshole spoke like he knew who Dave was... Hold on. Hold the fucking phone. Someone grab that tower crane from the construction site down the street and hoist this damn phone up. Only one person would know Dave well enough to make that AJ remark.
TG to CG: hold on a sec i just got a pretty fuckin important pester
TG to TT: ...
TG: bro
TG: is that you
|
|
|
|
Post by Karkat Vantas on Jan 11, 2013 17:05:58 GMT -5
He was telling him to hold on? Karkat growled at the screen and pounded a fist on his desk. What the fuck could even be going on over there that was more important than their conversation? Obviously, Karkat had to type up a suitably furious response in reaction to this. Dave's problems be damned, he had better things to do than fuck around with human issues.
CG: WOW, FUCK, REALLY?
CG: YOU'RE JUST GOING TO FUCKING
CG: STOP TALKING ABOUT ALL THIS IMPORTANT SHIT FOR SOME STUPID THING?
CG: SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK?
CG: THERE'S IMPORTANT FUCKING SHIT TO DO HERE, SO CUT THE HUMAN SHIT OUT.
Karkat was furious now. Not that he hadn't been furious before, but now he was even more furious. But, he was also a tiny bit curious about that message Dave had apparently gotten. Really, what could be more important than what they were talking about? It was probably some stupid human shit that he wouldn't even understand if he was told what it was.
|
|
|
|
Post by Bro on Jan 11, 2013 17:24:32 GMT -5
TT: Well look at that.
TT: Look at Dave bein' all smart and quick on the uptake.
TT: Someone wanted to stand back and admire the uptake, like it was a goddamn priceless fuckin' work of art.
TT: But Dave fuckin' Strider just swoops in and takes it when they blink.
TT: And everybody else is just like 'wow damn that kid is quick on the uptake'.
If he knew Dave, he had already called for a damn crane to haul the damn phone up so high you'd need a god damn space shuttle to hold it. Just like him, though.
TT: But yeah seriously it's me. [/font][/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by Dave Strider on Jan 11, 2013 18:11:28 GMT -5
Of course, Karkat's first response would be to bitch and complain. Not that he didn't bitch and complain as standard about absolutely fucking EVERYTHING, but it was especially annoying when directed at a single particular thing.
TG to CG: okay its probably just someone fucking with me
TG: in which case i will find this asshole and end him
TG: because if this is a joke its in really shitty taste
TG: but i
At that moment, TT answered, and Dave knew. Only one person could hope to match his talent for analogy, especially in that inimitable style.
TG to CG: ...yep
TG: its bro
TG: hes alive
TG to TT: alright
TG: i saw you die dude
TG: i stood over your fucking corpse
TG: with that shitty sword of yours all fucking jutting out of your chest
TG: like one of your goddamn puppets was showcasing its rear in the grossest possible display of disrespect for the dead
TG: yet here you are
TG: so what the flying motherfuck happened to you
|
|
|
|
Post by Karkat Vantas on Jan 11, 2013 20:53:48 GMT -5
Wait, what? He interrupted their super important conversation... for someone fucking with him? This was an outrage - a total outrage. Of course, when there was an outrage, Karkat was going to be as pissed off as trollishly possible. Karkat began to pound a hasty, rage-filled message to Dave.
CG: WOW, OKAY.
CG: YOU'RE INTERRUPTING OUR IMPORTANT SHIT FOR SOMEONE FUCKING WITH YOU.
CG: HOLY. SHIT.
CG: I THOUGHT YOU HUMAN THINGS COULDN'T EVEN FUCKING GET ANY WORSE THAN YOU ARE NOW I MEAN HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
CG: YOU HAVE MANAGED TO SURPRISE ME WITH SHEER STUPIDITY.
CG: AND I'M USED TO SOME FUCKING MORONS, OKAY?
The next message that popped up also surprised Karkat, but in an entirely different way. Bro was alive? Karkat knew he was dead, he had actually seen it. So... what the fuck?
CG: ....
CG: WHAT.
|
|
|
|
Post by Bro on Jan 11, 2013 21:42:57 GMT -5
Same old Dave. The screen of his phone reflected in his shades, he was already methodically typing up another message.
TT: Yeah yeah, I died alright.
TT: Fucking shitty sword hurt like hell.
TT: Can you imagine getting murdered with your own damn sword?
TT: Talk about some fuckin' emotional pain.
TT: Also the death part
He honestly had to pause for a long while to think of what to say next. What the flying motherfuck did happen to him? Last thing he knew, he was dead. Drifting around in some fuckin' dream bubbles or whatever the fuck. And then, just....fuck. He blinked and woke up here, staring at some god damn clouds. On a rooftop.
TT: Man, fuck if I know what happened.
TT: I'm just fighting Jack
TT: I get killed
TT: And then I fuckin' wake up here.
TT: I guess I'm too fuckin' awesome for death or some shit.
TT: Hell if I care.
TT: I just don't give a fuck why I'm here. Not a single fuck is given.
TT: The amount of fucks I do not give could be molded into god damn fuckbricks and then built up into a fucking tower to the god damn moon, and there would still be fucks left over.
That was kind of stretching the whole analogy schtick, but the point was still fucking valid.
|
|
|
|
Post by Dave Strider on Jan 12, 2013 15:00:47 GMT -5
TG to CG: jesus h christ dude its him
TG: alright new mission
TG: im gonna find out where hes at so we can get him on side with us
Behind his facade of straight-up goddamn cool, Dave was actually barely containing his excitement. He couldn't believe Bro was still alive! Having him around to help them find the rest of their friends and regroup would be invaluable.
TG to TT: i dont even fucking care
TG: im so glad youre alright bro
TG: i didnt think we could ever beat jack if he could take you and davesprite at once
TG: but with you back in one piece we have a real chance
|
|
