What happens in Las Vegas follows you to HQ

[Mia]

Something was....different....

Laying there upon the floor, the android girl's eyes were closed as though she was sleeping and in a rather frilly wedding dress. Lots and lots of lace, yet it was still a bit elegant in its own way. What in the world happened to make her dressed up like a bride? The walking, talking computer female with blue locks wouldn't be able to tell anyone since that part of her memory bank seemed void. Only just before the trip to Las Vegas with her Designated Superior, Wesker, and some of the operatives as well as lab workers...like getting on the plane and heading out to the city of lights and casinos! Maybe it was because she thought it was a waste of time rather than training the zombie army? Opening her eyes as a little toaster like `BING` went off in her head, it was time to work again! Reaching toward her back to find the direction of the cord but much to her surprise, there was no cord to be found.

Siting up with widened eyes as she frantically pat her shoulders, something wasn't right...the straps to her backpack were missing! Plus it seemed like her usual outfit was missing its sleeves too...weird. Looking from left to right toward her shoulders with a slight frown, she couldn't help but stop and stare at something more out of place than her new dress which explained the missing sleeves. There was a diamond ring on her finger...that's right a nice piece of jewelry caused her to tilt her head a bit to the side in utter confusion. Wasn't this a symbol of marriage? Since when did she get married?! .....more importantly to who!

It was a mistake, it just had to! Then again, that would of explained the huge gap in her memory...the biggest malfunction she ever had. Shaking her head that's when she caught a glimpse of a different color scheme....and....flowers?! Getting up as a frown curved upon her light blue lips, she couldn't help but actually feel a bit worried and wonder if someone android-napped her. Though that little assumption was quickly ruled out when she saw that there were a bunch of little test tubes and other equipment that was all too familiar. Getting up on her feet while dusting off, GREAT she was in high heels too...! Going over to the door with a poster that looked so very cute and cuddly with a fluffy kitten in a tea cup looking quite innocent and sweet...that was really out of place...more than her dress!

Exiting the room with the most adorable door EVER which would normally guide her right on into a plain ol' gray hallway...she couldn't believe her eyes and placed her hand over her mouth holding in a gasp as a look of sheer shock over took her features....it looked like someone unleashed kindergartners in there to draw a bunch of different zombies and operatives all holding hands! ...was that crayon?! Taking a couple steps forward, she just sort of stood there wondering who in the world decorated this place...and more importantly who allowed them to! All of the individuals who worked here seemed more responsible than this! Moving her hand off of her mouth, she began rushing down the hallway, running in high heels and that white dress trailing after her, she HAD TO find Wesker and report to him that someone must of managed to sneak in while they were gone and played a horrible prank! For crying out loud she even passed a zombie in a TUTU! Where was he...?! Her Designated Superior of all people would of remained unscathed from this...right?

As intelligent as she was, none of this was making sense...not even a little!

[shades]

Someone was leading a conga line in his head, and he wished they would stop.

Wesker very slowly opened his eyes, and then screwed them shut when the light was much too bright for them. Groaning, he rolled over onto his stomach, at which point he realized that he wasn't on a bed, but on the floor. What the hell happened last night? They had gone to Las Vegas, for...he couldn't remember now. Lovely, his usually impeccable memory was shot. He could remember flashes of drinking, and quite a lot of it. And that was all his memory had of it, the rest of it blank, and now here he was, on the floor. He slowly pushed himself up onto his feet, opening his eyes finally. The room was...pink. Bright, bright pink. With drawings (crayon!?) of humans and zombies holding hands. What. The. Hell.

He started to bring his hand to his face to rub his eyes, had to make sure it wasn't due to a hangover, which is when he noticed his arm. Or, to be precise, the tuxedo sleeve on it. He looked down and confirmed it, he was wearing a tux. He knew he hadn't been wearing that when they had left for Vegas. Again, what the hell had happened. Of course, then the realization that a certain serial tree murderer was nowhere to be found hit him. Damnit. He needed to find Mia now, it was no telling what had happened to her during the time he couldn't remember. If something had happened to her he'd be piss-well MORE pissed off. She was important to his plans, he needed her in perfect condition. He walked to the door and started to open it, taking note of his hand for some reason. Very nice wedding ring. Wait.

....................................

“What the hell!?” he yelled to no one in particular. Usually he was reserved, but this was not normal in any kind of way. He was wearing a wedding ring! Who what who where how why who!? He gripped the doorknob and practically pushed it off it's hinges, and into the hallway he went. It wasn't just that room, the pink was everywhere. The walls, the floor, the ceiling! “It's like I've stepped into the dream house of a little girl.” he groaned to himself as he set off down the hallway. This was just insane. Whoever had done all of...THIS! Would find themselves strapped to a table, being operated on by a drunken man with heavy arthritis and a penchant for shaking, along with his assistant, a seizure-prone orangutan.

And it only seemed to get worse as he went. The drawings on the walls got more insane (Zombies marrying humans, zombies hugging puppies, zombies winning the Olympics, President Barack Zombama), and gradually turning a brighter and brighter shade of pink as well. He looked throw viewing glasses and saw workers dancing and doing karaoke. He'd straighten them out (quite literally, with one of those stretching torture devices from the middle ages) once he found Mia, made sure she was in good condition, then found whoever had let this happen and make sure their existence was nothing but suffering. And find out who he had apparently was married to. If he was fortunate, it'd be no one, and the ring was just a “joke.” Worst case, he was now married to something like Lisa Trevor.

...please be the former, please be the former...

[Mia]

Looking like a runaway bride as she rushed down the very pink hallway with lots of crayon doodles upon the walls, she began to pick up her pace a bit even though it was quite difficult for her. Despite being without the dead weight of a battery holding backpack, her body shell itself was still a bit of a chore to lug around at faster speeds. What made her go a bit faster though? Simple, the distant familiar voice that yelled out ``What the hell!?``, of course! The voice pattern matched up with the man who had a habit for wearing sunglasses all the time, so it was worth looking into. Now she had to check through the rooms to make sure she didn't miss him! Peering in from room to room it was really odd sights being taken in by those neon blue optics of hers.

Blinking a couple of times with a slight frown across her lips...no one was being efficient anymore! What were they all on, vacation when they had to get ready and prepare for bigger, important things in the near future?! No...this didn't make sense at all! The first room she looked into had people having a puppet show where the Wesker puppet was at a stand that said `I'M FINALLY PRESIDENT!` and facepalmed itself with a little head shake. That...oddly matched the situation quite well...RIGHT! Another room contained people making quilts of mostly red, white, and black colors...weird. Why anyone here would need a quilt was beyond her! ...did she just see a zombie happy face quilt patch? It wasn't worth focusing on anyway!

Catching a glance of the next room, it actually gave her pause...THAT'S RIGHT she actually stopped in her tracks for a moment. People were...actually...working! Of course it was still very peculiar because...well...these people wore gloves that looked like little mini-mes of themselves. Still...they were working none-the-less....even though looked absolutely foolish. Soon as she found her Designated Superior...the android would have to get permission to study these individuals and turn them into her patients...er...no...subjects...? They seemed so caught up in their work that it was as though they didn't notice her. With a soft sigh of relief passing her lips...she didn't even have a chance to look to where she was at this very moment.

Not even realizing it, she got herself behind the one who treated her more like a partner and less like a tool. Just as she was about to proceed with her search; out of the clear blue, one of the workers wearing a mask of some happy face that looked as though it was biting its lower lip and had something disturbingly amusing on its mind couldn't help but yell out `WHY HELLO THAR!`...yes thar not there, in an obnoxious way. Her artificial thoughts rang out with a `WHAT THE-?!` causing her to instinctively back away from the door quickly. OH BUT HIGH HEELS WERE TROUBLESOME! That's right, that wasn't all as a sharp little error invaded her mind, her balance went right down the gutter as a misstep took place which caused the android with a female appearance to stagger backward. Flailing her arms a bit as though she was trying to fly, hoping to regain balance, it failed MISERABLY! In fact, it didn't help prevent her fall at all, nope! Being much heavier than she looked, that landing wasn't going to be pleasant at all for whatever or whoever managed to break her fall.

Whether it was the floor or a person, they'd find out why she stayed FAR away from masses of water. What about the person who managed to freak her out? They opened up the door and pulled up their mask a bit trying to hold in their laughter while looking over with a big ol' grin, "Hey, you alr-OH GOD! SOMEONE HIDE ME!" Oh yes...he figured out who was in the hallway. Time for that idiot to go! Quickly, the random guy rushed back into the room closing the door behind him like his life depended on it and a girlish shriek could be heard before he disappeared into the supplies closet for that room since there was enough space to fit a couple people.

Everyone in that room sported a `WTF` look with occasional eye twitches here and there. Slowly...the workers with mini-mes on their hands got back to work as though nothing happened.

[shades]

He was now unsure if the severe headache pounding through his head was a hangover, or just the insanity of all this causing his brain itself to feel pain.

As he made his way down the halls, he continued to look into rooms, hoping for some semblance of order and sanity. First room he looked in, one person was playing guitar and singing...to a group of zombies, who simply sat and seemed to be moving their heads to the music. He slowly closed the door as the man continued to sing about how all they want to do is eat someone named Tom's brains.

As he continued down the hall he saw, thankfully, a few workers who were actually WORKING...though while wearing random costumes, or clothes with slogans like teenagers. But, regardless of that, they were working, which was a welcome change from the others who were doing the exact opposite, acting like mental patients on a stunning array of hallucinogenic drugs, turning what should be a place of working for world domination into...a circus of the undead and the stupid, mingling together to set all his carefully laid plans and goals on fire, and using them as heat for their s'mores and beans.

...great, now he was even more pissed off now that he'd thought on it.

As he kept on his path of brain cell-killing madness, he was unaware of the fact that the android girl he was looking for was behind him. He'd normally heard the distinct sounds of her heels, but with the singing, the dancing, and the other noise, he couldn't make out the din of her heels clicking on the floor. Though, while he couldn't hear the din of heels, he COULD hear an idiot shouting “Y HALO THAR!”, which was enough to make him turn his head and finally see that android. The android that was about to fall over.

His body twisted around, legs propelling him down the hallway, tapping into his full speed, appearing behind her instantly, his speed giving the appearance of teleportation, what it would appear to anyone watching. He placed one hand on her back and the other at the base of the back of her neck, where right at the middle of her shoulders. She weighed a lot, but luckily Wesker could handle that easily enough. He lifted her back up to her feet and looked to the man in the mask, who was pulling it off and laughing, thinking he pranked someone. The man was greeted by a death glare from Wesker, and he could only assume Mia was doing the same, as the man screamed and ran into a closet. He'd be dealt with later. He gave Mia a quick once over, was that a wedding dress? Oh no...no, that had another explanation, of course. But it wasn't the important part. “At least you've not changed overnight.” he said, in genuine relief that something was still normal.

And then there was a woman's voice talking from down the hall, breaking that wonderful moment of normalcy. He sighed and turned his head to look at the source. A woman in a highly unfamiliar uniform was leading a group of people down the hall. People with cameras, with printed t-shirts, with...sandals. Tourists. Just when you think it can't get any worse, it does. By a massive increase. They were taking pictures of his base of operations! He calmly walked, if calmly meant practically stomping, over to the group. The woman kept her smile, and turned to the group while gesturing to Wesker. “And this is Albert Wesker, this is his facility. He plans on world domination!”

Wesker was about to speak up, or perhaps just crush the woman's neck, but a man in the crowd stepped forward, and actually put his hands on Wesker's shoulders. “You are perfect!” he shouted as Wesker glared at him, the whole insanity of everything starting to take it's toll on his patience, and this THING touching him was not at all contributing positively. “Do not touch me.” was the simple, agitated reply that left Wesker's mouth. But the man, wearing a t-shirt with “555” printed on it, continued. “You'd be perfect as a villain! Ooh, maybe the main's brother, no I did that...oh! His father! And you want to sleep with his girlfriend, and you take her by force when she tries to be a Rider because women Riders are disgusting and bad!” he rambled on, as Wesker continued to glare down at him. He was insane, or senile, that much was obvious. Or perhaps just a horrible writer. Then, the man actually put a hand on Wesker's face. “Can you make a good rape face? That's important!” and Wesker felt something small, under all the insanity of the day, crack.

He grabbed the man's hand, slamming his palm against the man's elbow, his strength pushing it forward beyond how an arm should be able to bend, bending it at a horrible angle, the bone snapping right through the skin as it hung limply. The man fell, letting out a scream. Wesker raised his leg above, almost facing his own foot, before bringing it down onto the man's other hand, crushing it from the strength of it. The man would never write again, that's for sure.

Wesker looked down at the crying man, then back up at everyone else, as he let out a sigh. “Well, that was a useful stress-reducer.”

[Mia]

As if those zombies who wanted some fellow named Tom's brains were being unreasonable...it wasn't like they were going to eat his eyes! That's what some zombie who was once named Nancy thought. The android in a wedding dress and heels braced herself not for pain, but for something else...an all too familiar sound of the floor being damaged from her weight combine with the impact or worse! Someone literally being crushed under her weight and literally becoming a bloodstain on her nice dress! The short lived flail session came to an end though when she felt herself stop in mid-fall. ...wait...stopping in mid-fall? What in the world?!

Some of the workers who saw the quick movement and catch without any problems held up little signs with `10`'s on them and a lone employee who looked a bit normal...save for the rainbow afro clown wig gave a thumbs up and muttered out "N..nice catch," in a monotone. Their leader never ceased to amaze! Sure those little signs gave her a slight `...huh?` moment along with the fact she didn't have to worry about helping with repairing a damaged floor...but boy oh boy did she want to strangle and electrocute the moron who rushed into the closet! Normally, her pinch of aggression would of been put safely into storage to keep humanity as well as her patients safe as can be, but this time it showed through a glare of `I'm going to rip you from limb to limb when we meet again`...which is probably why she didn't get a good glimpse of who helped her. Oh how that lovely glare would of been followed up with a violent course of action right away, but there were more important matters to attend to! Lifted back onto her feet by some miraculous miracle, this gave her a golden opportunity to continue that urgent business! Of course, she had to thank whoever helped her, it'd be awfully rude not to express her gratitude.

Turning to completely face the one who was actually capable of supporting her weight, a smile crossed her lips while she listened carefully to his words. To hear him sound so relieved that she didn't change overnight, she couldn't help but agree wholeheartedly. Er...well in terms of how he hadn't changed aside from the tuxedo........"It's nice to see you haven't changed as well, Wesker, sir. Thank you for preventing my fall...but I must apologize for being unable to find you earlier..." finishing those sincere words with a soft sigh...wait...TUXEDO?! Just as she was about to say anything more, the little normal moment was smashed to borderline death with a sledge hammer by the sound of a female's voice from down the hall. Around the time her Designated Superior looked in the direction of the voice, she couldn't help but take a gander as well to make sure it wasn't anything too serious. Oh no...this wasn't good...and it seemed like the only options she calculated was their permanent disposal...or perhaps new patients in dangerous tests.

About to ask good ol' Wesker which would be the best course of action, he was already Godzillaing on his way there with heavy steps. Mia couldn't blame him for being so irritated...this horrible mess seemed to just keep getting worse and more difficult to clean up by the moment! For crying out loud, there were tourists with brightly colored shirts taking pictures like those horrible paparazzi that drove some of her past patients to the brink of insanity! What if that happened with her Designated Superior?! Quickly following after him, being a little more careful not to fall this time around....her eyes widened after hearing what the woman had to say along with gesturing to the infuriated blond. No no no NO this wasn't happening! Clearly she was beyond even being salvaged with being used to gather more research data!

Of course she was aware that her Designated Superior was plotting for world domination but she also knew that other people may not be happy with that! This was far more of a shock than when she saw his actual eyes. Stopping in her tracks a few feet away...that's when someone in the crowd stepped up and put their hands on Wesker's shoulders. The nerve of them....lacking basic manners! Even though her combat capability was at or even below average....she was about to use her main form of self defense to help get rid of these pests. A thin line was not only being crossed but paraded over as well! To her, part of her duty was to make sure he was safe and these patients were making it a difficult task!

Despite the agitated response to that man's intrusive actions, the annoying touristy patient persisted! Blabbering on and on...did...did that complete moron of a patient with a `555` on his shirt just call Wesker a villain or even insinuate it?! It was getting harder and harder to keep the negative portion of her AI in check. Narrowing those neon blue eyes a bit while endless, insane amounts of stupid tumbled passed that patient's lips. This urge to kill, maim, and destroy was most certainly a malfunction...but she wouldn't mind buying into it at this point with the way this man was trying to match her Designated Superior up to what sounded like a lowly rapist. Such horrible casting! This imbecile sounded like the world's worst writer!

If only she had a knife...if only she had something sharp....she'd pretend this fool was a piece of steak that needed to be cut into nice little portions perfect for being bite sized pieces! Taking a step forward as she tightly clenched her fist at her side, all of that stored negativity was itching to be unleashed. But what stopped her from going all psycho bitch shred happy? The fact that soon after that buffoon put his hand on Wesker's face and asked if he could make a good rape face since that was apparently important, her Designated Superior was already dealing with the situation. A suitable course of action considering how a once normal, perfectly unscathed arm was completely mangled with a bone sticking out of the flesh before limply hanging at the man's side. Watching him fall, probably from the sheer amount of pain he was suffering, ah...no...CONFIRMED pain due to that scream, it was almost a perfect punishment! The finishing touch was brilliant!

A hand crushing slam of his hand, very fitting for a patient with so much mental damage! So...that was a useful stress reducer, was it? "Perhaps it would be best to make him into a floor mat for a while rather than feeding him to the infected patients right away...," slightly trailing off with those contemplative words, her attention was snagged by the tour guide lady in a uniform she hadn't seen around here at all. "Wasn't that an amazing display, folks? It seems like we even get to see his assistant today! Miss, could you tell us about all those notes you made killing hundreds of trees?" Enthusiastic for someone who was being viewed as a patient that wasn't so much as research worthy.

Plus the crowd behind this enthusiastic woman clapped like a bunch of trained seals at a three ring circus or something! A sweet, polite smile with grim undertones crossed her lips as she turned to look at the tour guide lady, speaking with a polite tone to go nicely with her composure before extending her hand to the woman, "Patient, you may call me, Mia. A proper introduction is in order before I share such information with you..." Oh! Of course, ah sometimes this job makes me forget my manners! My name i-" at that point their hands made contact and the android tightened her grip upon the woman's hand as though to make a casual handshake. What was this though? Of course not. The bridal android with blue locks' eyes lit up a bit before a bit of electricity coursed off of her arm and...well...gave that tour guide of a woman quite the shock.

Goodness, those touristy idiots weren't shaken though! Most of them just took a bunch of pictures and were going all `OOOOOOOO!`as their beloved tour guide screamed. Tugging the woman who looked as though she might of been having a seizure closer, she rest her hand over the woman's heart and yet another jolt of electricity was released. Perfect, just enough to shut her up it seemed! Releasing the woman's hand with that composure that was sweetly polite remaining nicely upon her features, slightly narrowing her eyes as she looked to the others. "I believe your tour has come to an end, patients," with no traces of guilt within her tone, what happened next confused her more than Wesker's tuxedo. "Do it again! Do it again!"

That was the chant some of them blurted out in a mini chorus...and they looked like that dreaded thing one of her patients called `fanboys`. Was there no end to this terror?! Where was her metal clipboard when she needed it most?! With a small little gulp and a look of confusion blended with concern overtaking her composure, she leaned toward the fellow victim of wedding fashion before muttering in a slightly nervous tone, "...Wesker, sir....I believe we may need a gatling gun and a horde of hungry, infected patients who haven't been fed in a very long time to mend this situation," keeping her tone soft enough for him to hear but inaudible to their peers. Out of control...completely out of control! So very few options to work with and they were getting closer and closer...their brains just had to be broken! Didn't they comprehend the danger they were in or were they the sorts who had to be burned by a hot stove to learn it hurt?! ....probably.